Remember when....?

I left on Mother's Day.

When I told my grandmother I was going to Thailand. She said:
"Well, why would want to go there?"

My grandmother asks most the most simple and excellent questions.
(About Dan: Is he handsome? [yes--very] Does he work every day? [yes. he is a landscape architect. smart and creative.] Is he nice to you? [yes, grandma, he makes me feel magic])

How funny--I think--that I forget to ask myself these very basic, very important questions.

Why would I want to go to Thailand?

Near my last day of work, the President of our company walked by and said:
"Congratulations. And how wonderful--to go-- and open the aperture, before you start school."

In a sentence--that is the best way to describe what I love about traveling.

All this way across the ocean, there is a chance to widen the lens. And see. Your life.

To take in the people that you love. And take time to simply love them. Yesterday, on the ferry from one small island to another, with the Main Title to Billy the Kid on my ipod, I watched boat cut the blue water, wrote a post card to my family. And just let my heart fill up with them. And then I began a note to Dan, and let my heart fill up with him. It seems there is rarely time for this at home. Life is busy. And fast. And relentless at times.

There is time to look back at the wayward path that led me here. And listen to Betsy's fascinating life. I always learn new things about her. Her story is Switzerland. And New Zealand. And France. And Patagonia. I am always learning about how much you can do--how far you can travel--what is possible for a lifetime from her.

And take note of all the things I take for granted every day. Stupid things. Like flushing toilet paper. The way we fill our gas tanks. And bigger things. Like opportunity.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm learning to maneuver with the tiniest bit of grace and direction. To pause at this moment--take a breath--and forgive myself for not getting here right away--give myself credit for taking a few risks--for letting myself make mistakes--to remind myself that life will always be and I will always be perfectly imperfect--is invaluable.

Dan asked me, "do you think this will be one of those trips, where you look back and think, 'remember when...?'"

And I laughed. Because nearly every moment I spend with Betsy is a "remember when..."

But Yes! Yes. Yes.

Do you remember those buckets they sell at night in Haad Rin? The ones they fill with ice, and Thai Red Bull and vodka?

And how many times did you have to ask me: Sky where are you shoes? As the tide suddenly came up and I scrambled to remember where on the sand I had left them...

The fruit and honey and yogurt and musseli. The fresh mango banana pineapple shakes...The spicy peanut papaya salad that we ate for every lunch...the curries and coconut that lingered on our tongues...

The heat that made even the air sweat...waiting in our bungalow by the beach, under the fan with our books, for the hot afternoon sun to set...

Do you remember the special shakes at the Mellow Mountain? Do you remember how we laughed at the girls giggling in the water at night? Lying on the chairs at a place called Fairyland while Jack Johnson and the stars soothed the pulsing electronic music-soaked air...

Do remember the drunk travelers we shared the taxi home with -- the ones with the thick Australian accents, who had come here to drink and dance and get laid?

Or the lady we met on the Water Taxi to the Sanctuary? The one who had quit her job as a lawyer to come to Thailand and practice yoga indefinitely?

Everyone here shares one tiny island--but they are on a thousand different journeys.

And do you remember the Sanctuary? Where we ate fresh vegetables and drank wine, talked about love and watched cloud after cloud parade over the nearly full, brightest of moons--lit only at the edges like ghosts?
I remember looking over at you on the boat ride home, enormous boulders bathed in the moonlight behind you. You had a butterfly in your hair and we were both laughing and warm ocean sprayed our faces.... and I thought-- This. This moment right here. Is why I came to Thailand.


Ahead: Full Moon Party.

And then...Cambodia (and my birthday! hooray!)